I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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