ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
