Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
