new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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