I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
