Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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