she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
