I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
