if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
