butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
