Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
