gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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