woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
