How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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