Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
