Will you blow on my dice?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
