just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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