i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
