i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
