so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
