your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
