The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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