I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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