Yo dont text me then not text me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
