pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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