Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
BRING THE BAGELS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
