Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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