Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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