They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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