Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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