All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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