Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
