you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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