he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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