Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
