He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
