I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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