The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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