3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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