He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
