yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
