My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Farmville is her only friend.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
