I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish I only lived at night.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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