So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i think i just lost a toe
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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