He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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