Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
