he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
