I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
