ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
