Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
